I’m Not a “Honey-Do-List” Wife

I thought up the perfect Lowe’s/Home Depot commercial. It involved women going to the hardware store and purchasing stuff, then shots of them fixing things around the house. It concluded with one of them looking at the camera with a power drill in her hands and saying, “Honey-do-list? Please. I got this,” with total confidence.

A random thought, yes, but I think it would be an effective commercial!

Moving on…

I’m not a honey-do-list wife. I’m a do-it-myself wife.

On Saturday, I changed the oil in our mower, a task which I had never done before. Then, I mowed. Then, I set up a flower bed on the side of the front yard. Later, I got a ladder from the garage and changed out a couple of lightbulbs. I did all of that, and I still made cookies, did laundry, and washed dishes, all while keeping my children safe, occupied, and relatively happy.

A busy day, to be sure! I’m kinda sore and tired, but I got my weekend work done and feel good! 🙂

On other occasions, I’ve patched small holes in the wall, patched a larger hole in the wall, repaired our porch swing, reenforced the mailbox, and built a wooden fence around our A/C units.

When something breaks around the house, I don’t wait around for my husband. I just fix it! My ability to fix things is always growing. Thanks to YouTube and other internet sources, you can learn how to fix just about anything just by browsing the internet and getting the right tools and materials from the store.

Don’t get me wrong–It’s definitely a process! I was terrified the entire time I changed the oil in the mower because despite the fact that I knew it was a simple bit of maintenance, I’d never done anything with an engine before, and I was so worried I would mess it up and destroy the mower.

BUT! I followed the instructions, paid attention to the task, and completed it successfully.

You know what? It was empowering.

You know what else? It’s good for my marriage. My husband works out of the house all day, and the last thing I want is for him to come home and work around the house for the entire evening and weekend. I want him to rest and be refreshed so he can continue to work hard and provide for our family.
I want him to be able to spend time with the kids! And with me!
Fixing things and doing basic maintenance myself makes a positive difference in our marriage.

Also, my husband has chronic pain. While there are many reasons why I want to get the to-do list done myself, in our situation there’s also the issue that I need to get things done myself.
If it’s a task that I cannot do, we’re almost certainly going to need to pay for someone to do it. The more I can do, the more money we save, and the less my husband strains himself trying to do things that aggravate his pain.

And, just to top it all off, I think it provides a good example for my kids. We talk about division of labor a lot in our house, partly because my husband has chronic pain and the kids need to understand what that means for how we get things done. But, also, this is partly because my kids are getting to ages where they’re starting to do daily chores and help out when I need an extra set of hands. They’re getting older, and they’re going to help me. I am not their servant! And they are going to know that.

Families need to work together for the betterment of the family. In our case, that means there’s not a honey-do list… there’s a to-do list, and I get it done.




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